Umbilical cords are still attached to grown ass kids and their parents. Yea, some daddies have them attached to them as well.
"UmbiliKids" is what I call them. These adult kids range in age from 18 - 38, some older, both male and female and there is no specific race. They still depend on mom or dad for 1 or all of the following: food, shelter, clothing, cigarettes, money or contributions to their fabulous life styles.
While they are reaping all the benefits they: Talk shit, make their own house rules, have attitudes and sum Otha dumb shit.
One day as I sat in my office my phone rang, "Riiiing!" "Hello" I said. "My son (who is 28) will be late for his interview, because he overslept," the caller said. Me 0_0 staring at the phone and thinking, "No, his mama, just did not call me!" "Thanks for calling," was my response. When UmbiliKid arrived, he was promptly thanked and excused.
Come on Son, the least you could have done was to call yourself!
UmbiliKids usually have a parent or parents that make a reasonable living and have overindulged the Umbili's as they were growing up. And, as adults the parents have looked for jobs for them, typed resumes, completed apps, bent rules and allowed them to talk shit without repercussion and consequence. And, most have the God awful "Right of entitlement" attitude.
UmbiliKids, work and with their money they: shop, wet their whistles with too much alcohol, smoke weed, snort cocaine indulge in designer drugs (WTF is that you ask: Ecstasy seems to be a very popular one). Most couldn't pass a poly or drug test to save their own Umbili neck!"
They live the life of Riley: They sleep late, take trips, half do chores (if they do any at all), "Shake ya ass watch ya self" in clubs wearing the finest clothes and shoes, before exiting to retrieve their rides from valet to go salivate over lobster pizza at Berri's.
Some UmbiliKids don't even contribute to the house by buying toilet paper to wipe their precious asses or a loaf of bread for their favorite sandwich, which they can count on making with meat their parents have purchased for the Umbili's consumption.
It's not Umbili's fault they act this way, it's the parents fault.
UmbiliKids are not dumb, a lot are educated and degreed up (by either the streets, books or both). My co-workers son has 2 masters degrees and working on a 3rd. He refuses to work, lives in her home off money left by his dad (which she said is almost gone) and plays video games all day. He's 30 something. Oh yea, she said he doesn't even clean up after himself or make his bed and that she does it after her 10 hour work day... GTFOH! The kicker is he brings strange hot girls into her home at night to screw... Uhhh huh
If you are an UmbiliKid and you are reading this and you live at your parent's home, because the economy is bad and you can't find a job to sustain an apartment and everything that comes with being on your own or you just prefer having all your hard earned money to yourself, my advise to you is to: SHUT THE F*#K UP, be nice, kind, smile often, speak in soft tones, buy some toilet paper, pay a light bill and be productive in your parent's home!
Parents, time for reprogramming and cutting the umbilical cord, because we have real.com messes on our hands!
I shake, shiver and convulse thinking UmbiliKids are our future...
"Shake ya ass, watch ya self..."
06/22/11, 0622hrs
Monday, July 4, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Lick This
People please STOP putting ya'lls mouths on everything you think is: cute/fine, smells good, has a good job, drives a nice car, has a nice crib, dresses well, degreed up (has 1 or more college degrees), speaks well, bodied up (baad meaning good body), blah, blah, blah
Especially y'all men, because y'all are the first ones that wanna lick and taste something! A male friend called and told me the honey he thought tasted like mangos and sum otha exotic fruits (well, not his words, exactly, my line from my blog "Excuse Me Ms") finally allowed him to taste the fruit and what he received in return was Herpes, yep, that for which there is no cure.
I just read an article on www.ashastd.org that stated Nearly 1 in 2 African American adults have genital Herpes, but 90% don't know it. WTF!! That sure is high! So, that means every other black person has Herpes??? Awww, hell to the no, that study can't be right! Can it?? If so, that's scary!
Hmm, reading those stats had me thinking about the "Tuskegee syphilis experiment" (with a twist) which was conducted btw 1932-1972 in Alabama on black men (if you are not familiar with this, slap ya self then Google it).
In another article, same site, it was stated: Experimental trial Herpes vaccine doesn't work for women. Well double damn! Eve really F*#%*d things up, when she had Adam bite that apple: Periods, labor pain, too damn emotional and now a Herpes vaccine that doesn't work for women... 4Realz??? What part of the game is that!
Ok, back to my friend, he said he ONLY sucked her Ussy once and hasn't been with anyone, besides his right hand, in a minute. A week after the sampling and savoring, he said he got a strange cluster of bumps and to his dismay was diagnosed with Herpes. Now, his ass is all mad. "Damn, she didn't look like she had nothing," Is what he said. I stared at the phone, and said, "4realz, Son!"
Now for my PSA (Public Service Announcement): If you are really into oral satisfaction, giving or receiving, consider using a dental dam. www.sgfelken.com has pictures and explains it's use during oral activity. I'm pretty sure the feeling won't be as intense, but you will avoid the clusters my boy has, is all...
Especially y'all men, because y'all are the first ones that wanna lick and taste something! A male friend called and told me the honey he thought tasted like mangos and sum otha exotic fruits (well, not his words, exactly, my line from my blog "Excuse Me Ms") finally allowed him to taste the fruit and what he received in return was Herpes, yep, that for which there is no cure.
I just read an article on www.ashastd.org that stated Nearly 1 in 2 African American adults have genital Herpes, but 90% don't know it. WTF!! That sure is high! So, that means every other black person has Herpes??? Awww, hell to the no, that study can't be right! Can it?? If so, that's scary!
Hmm, reading those stats had me thinking about the "Tuskegee syphilis experiment" (with a twist) which was conducted btw 1932-1972 in Alabama on black men (if you are not familiar with this, slap ya self then Google it).
In another article, same site, it was stated: Experimental trial Herpes vaccine doesn't work for women. Well double damn! Eve really F*#%*d things up, when she had Adam bite that apple: Periods, labor pain, too damn emotional and now a Herpes vaccine that doesn't work for women... 4Realz??? What part of the game is that!
Ok, back to my friend, he said he ONLY sucked her Ussy once and hasn't been with anyone, besides his right hand, in a minute. A week after the sampling and savoring, he said he got a strange cluster of bumps and to his dismay was diagnosed with Herpes. Now, his ass is all mad. "Damn, she didn't look like she had nothing," Is what he said. I stared at the phone, and said, "4realz, Son!"
Now for my PSA (Public Service Announcement): If you are really into oral satisfaction, giving or receiving, consider using a dental dam. www.sgfelken.com has pictures and explains it's use during oral activity. I'm pretty sure the feeling won't be as intense, but you will avoid the clusters my boy has, is all...
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Reciprocity
**Before reading this, please read RECEIVERS and THE MIKE TYSON SYNDROME (MTS)***
Men, when you sleep with a woman it is very important to call and say hi, what's up or how are ya, the next day, even if you don't plan on ever seeing her again.
Most women would like to think giving themselves to you meant a lil somethin (especially if you've hung out a few times).
Fella's expect a bit of emotion, on the receivers part, to come with the receipt of your joy stick; Rather you like it (No, not the sex, the emotion) or not. Even a text (So Los Angeles) is better than nada.
When that very small token of appreciation is not extended unnecessary hurt feelings are created and depending on the woman's experiences and emotional luggage, something far more serious could be born: Stalker Or MTS.
Doesn't matter if you just wanted to hit and run, don't make the woman feel like you only wanted the Ussy, even if it's the truth.)You never know, when you'll have a dry spell, so like my mama says, "Don't burn no bridges"). Hey, Hi, What's up, how are you... #isall
I'm just saying be appreciative and show some reciprocity.
Men, when you sleep with a woman it is very important to call and say hi, what's up or how are ya, the next day, even if you don't plan on ever seeing her again.
Most women would like to think giving themselves to you meant a lil somethin (especially if you've hung out a few times).
Fella's expect a bit of emotion, on the receivers part, to come with the receipt of your joy stick; Rather you like it (No, not the sex, the emotion) or not. Even a text (So Los Angeles) is better than nada.
When that very small token of appreciation is not extended unnecessary hurt feelings are created and depending on the woman's experiences and emotional luggage, something far more serious could be born: Stalker Or MTS.
Doesn't matter if you just wanted to hit and run, don't make the woman feel like you only wanted the Ussy, even if it's the truth.)You never know, when you'll have a dry spell, so like my mama says, "Don't burn no bridges"). Hey, Hi, What's up, how are you... #isall
I'm just saying be appreciative and show some reciprocity.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Excuse me Ms
"Bonita Applebum you gotta put me on..." Is what played in my head when I saw Her.
And, Her smile...It was so, so E LEC TRI FYING...
Mmmmmm, she smelled so nice was it Jo Malone, Marc Jacobs or Balenciaga...
The mere touch of her skin ignited something animalistic inside me...
The sweet melodic sound of Her voice as she said, "Hello," sent chills of joy throughout my EN TIRE EX IS TANCE...
I bet she tastes like mangos and sum otha exotic fruits. I can tell.
She enticed all 5 of my senses and by looking into Her big brown eyes I umm, I, I knew we'd need some prophylactics.
"Excuse me Ms," is what this brutha is going to say, next time I see her. Excuse me Mssssss...
Hello and welcome to BEAUTIFUL MIND, BODY, SOUL and SPIRIT. I wrote this in the voice of a man. Clever, huh. This is what I think men think when they see beautiful women. This particular peice took place in a grocery store in my mind. The MIND is a BEAUTIFUL thing, Don't you agree.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Make Love To My Body, Not My Mind
Ladies, a Nu man that makes love to your mind is more addicting and intoxicating than one that makes love to your body.
Mind love is much more sensual, intimate and orgasmic.
Foreplay for a man that makes love to your mind is: Gently and methodically caressing your thoughts, Staring so deeply into your soul you shiver and sometimes you even speak in tongues, Making you laugh till you cry, Penetrating your being so deeply you think of him even when you sleep, Communicating to you with only his eyes and lips and the ability to make your Beautiful Mind Body Soul and Spirit come alive and feel brand Nu, all without physical love making of any kind.
If I had to choose between a man making passionate love to my mind or to my body, I'd choose the latter. I've experienced mind love and I'll just say that, for me, physical love making is easier to shake and control. Yes, really. Lol! Is all.
Mind vs Body which will you choose...
Happy Monday!
Mind love is much more sensual, intimate and orgasmic.
Foreplay for a man that makes love to your mind is: Gently and methodically caressing your thoughts, Staring so deeply into your soul you shiver and sometimes you even speak in tongues, Making you laugh till you cry, Penetrating your being so deeply you think of him even when you sleep, Communicating to you with only his eyes and lips and the ability to make your Beautiful Mind Body Soul and Spirit come alive and feel brand Nu, all without physical love making of any kind.
If I had to choose between a man making passionate love to my mind or to my body, I'd choose the latter. I've experienced mind love and I'll just say that, for me, physical love making is easier to shake and control. Yes, really. Lol! Is all.
Mind vs Body which will you choose...
Happy Monday!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Wolves in Sheeps clothes
My mother always told me to beware of wolves in sheeps clothes. Well, ladies, I'm passing that advice on to you.
The wolves I'm speaking of, today, are the married ones.
Ladies, Let's be honest, you know 98% of the time when a man is married even when he doesn't have on a band.
If you're a little slow, these are the clues:
A - You've never been to his crib. B - You only have his cell. C - You've only met one of his boys (they always tell one). D - You haven't seen his baby daughter since she started talking E - You only see him the day before a holiday: Thanksgiving eve, or the Day after: February 15th. F - He always gets up in the middle of the night to leave. G - He never takes you out in public, but he brings you take out from Maestro's, (come on, who does that). H - You've been taken to the hospital, but he can't come because it's 6 and that's when he sits down with his family for dinner.
The other 2% of the time there is some real trickeration in motion. What a wolf in sheeps clothing does is: Have his very own love nest AKA Lair (resting place for wild animals). And of course the wife doesn't know about it. You even spend the night and park in his space. When you're sneaking peeks, in cabinets, there are no signs of a woman (No tampons or nail polish). He takes you to nice public places (Wife, her friends or her fam never go to that side of town). He intro's you to his friends and a few of his relatives. He does everything a single man, your man, would do.
Once your body and mind begins to crave him, the truth somehow reveals itself (of course he doesn't tell you). Maybe a "friend" or relative, who thought you knew, lets his status "slip." You're devastated, because you thought he was the ONE! You ask him why he hadn't told you and he says, "Because I knew you wouldn't F%#k with me."
Wolves, that's a low down dirty shame!
Ladies, you've invested all your time, emotions (ya'll know how emotional we can be) and energy on a wolf. It hurts, I know from my own experience with a wolf back in my formative years.
What do you do, now... You step, no matter how difficult. You MUST walk away. Your dream has turned into a nightmare and your reality has been turned upside down.
I normally have suggestions or answers, but Unfortunately, I have no answer to detect the wolf, because they live 2 full and complete lives.
Wolves in sheeps clothes, are real. *Howlingggg*
The wolves I'm speaking of, today, are the married ones.
Ladies, Let's be honest, you know 98% of the time when a man is married even when he doesn't have on a band.
If you're a little slow, these are the clues:
A - You've never been to his crib. B - You only have his cell. C - You've only met one of his boys (they always tell one). D - You haven't seen his baby daughter since she started talking E - You only see him the day before a holiday: Thanksgiving eve, or the Day after: February 15th. F - He always gets up in the middle of the night to leave. G - He never takes you out in public, but he brings you take out from Maestro's, (come on, who does that). H - You've been taken to the hospital, but he can't come because it's 6 and that's when he sits down with his family for dinner.
The other 2% of the time there is some real trickeration in motion. What a wolf in sheeps clothing does is: Have his very own love nest AKA Lair (resting place for wild animals). And of course the wife doesn't know about it. You even spend the night and park in his space. When you're sneaking peeks, in cabinets, there are no signs of a woman (No tampons or nail polish). He takes you to nice public places (Wife, her friends or her fam never go to that side of town). He intro's you to his friends and a few of his relatives. He does everything a single man, your man, would do.
Once your body and mind begins to crave him, the truth somehow reveals itself (of course he doesn't tell you). Maybe a "friend" or relative, who thought you knew, lets his status "slip." You're devastated, because you thought he was the ONE! You ask him why he hadn't told you and he says, "Because I knew you wouldn't F%#k with me."
Wolves, that's a low down dirty shame!
Ladies, you've invested all your time, emotions (ya'll know how emotional we can be) and energy on a wolf. It hurts, I know from my own experience with a wolf back in my formative years.
What do you do, now... You step, no matter how difficult. You MUST walk away. Your dream has turned into a nightmare and your reality has been turned upside down.
I normally have suggestions or answers, but Unfortunately, I have no answer to detect the wolf, because they live 2 full and complete lives.
Wolves in sheeps clothes, are real. *Howlingggg*
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Don't Stay
Don't Stay
Funny how decisions we MUST make to be fully happy, sometimes hurt someone/others.
Life is so short and unpredictable. YOU should NOT stay in a situation to make someone/others happy while you are miserable (miserable meaning you have not been happy w/that person for a long time. Not that they've just pissed you off).
Life is for living and at times tough decisions MUST be made to live an abundant life!
DON'T stay for the children, Continue to take care of them in a happy environment. DON'T stay because of the beautiful home, Move into an apartment and be HAPPY. DON'T stay because you fill obligated because they helped you through school and was with you when you were broke, Apologize and give them a very generous departure gift. DON'T stay because you think you can't find anyone as pretty/handsome or with a 6 pack or brown round, Just walk 3 blocks and turn left, Damn, there another one is! DON'T stay because they buy you expensive gifts, You have enough to last a life time. DON'T stay because they threaten to kill themselves, Pray for them and keep moving your boxes.
STAY only if you want to further stifle your growth and prolong that unhappy feeling.
Everyone is in charge of their own happiness... DON'T be a casualty.
Funny how decisions we MUST make to be fully happy, sometimes hurt someone/others.
Life is so short and unpredictable. YOU should NOT stay in a situation to make someone/others happy while you are miserable (miserable meaning you have not been happy w/that person for a long time. Not that they've just pissed you off).
Life is for living and at times tough decisions MUST be made to live an abundant life!
DON'T stay for the children, Continue to take care of them in a happy environment. DON'T stay because of the beautiful home, Move into an apartment and be HAPPY. DON'T stay because you fill obligated because they helped you through school and was with you when you were broke, Apologize and give them a very generous departure gift. DON'T stay because you think you can't find anyone as pretty/handsome or with a 6 pack or brown round, Just walk 3 blocks and turn left, Damn, there another one is! DON'T stay because they buy you expensive gifts, You have enough to last a life time. DON'T stay because they threaten to kill themselves, Pray for them and keep moving your boxes.
STAY only if you want to further stifle your growth and prolong that unhappy feeling.
Everyone is in charge of their own happiness... DON'T be a casualty.
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