F me pumps

"When you walk in the bar and you're dressed like a star Rockn' your F me pumps and the man notices you with your Gucci bag crew. Can't tell who he's looking to.

Cuzz y'all all look the same everyone knows your name and that's your whole claim to fame...Never miss a night, cuzz your dream in life is to be a footballers wife.

You're more then a fan, looking for a man, but you end up with one night stands, he could be your whole life if you got past one night, but that part never goes right..."

One of my favorite AMY WINEHOUSE songs, "F ME PUMPS"

Ladies, if this sounds like you, time to change what you do: 1 - Stop sleeping with men you just meet. Give it some time, cultivate a friendship, find out the N*#%#s last name. 2 - If looking for a man with some money, STOP going to the Dynasty, the Cork, Frieda's and the Savoy. Change it up and start going to upscale hotel bars, you'll definitely find men of substance and dollars there (not that there aren't any at the aforementioned bars). Beverly Hills has plenty. 3 - Pick up a new hobby.  Golf would be an excellent choice. Get some cheap clubs from Big 5, Ninety-nine dollars and take a few lessons. 4 - Start smoking cigars and begin
frequenting cigar lounges. Cigar lounges are cool and the men are laid back, gentlemanly and most importantly you have choices (for etiquette in cigar lounges, please read my blog  HUMP). Cigars are Also welcome, poolside, at hotel lounges. 5 - Look Good, "Hair done nails done everything did." Just don't over do it. DO NOT have chipped nails or fake designer bags AND PLEASE DO NOT HAVE THE PLASTIC PIECE OF YOUR PUMP MISSING where you're walking on the metal. NOT a good look or sound "Clank clank."  6 - Brush up on newsworthy events and politics.

7 - Buy a bottle of Jo Malone and Balenciaga. (Men are really attracted to expensive smells). Spray it starting at the top of your head, yes hair too (You may be talking to a very tall man. Why not allow him the pleasure of being intoxicated by "Jo or B"). Not necessary to use much, because these fragrances are expensive and go along way.  Periodically,  freshen up your fragrance, with a squirt, when you go to the ladies room to powder your nose (An oily face is a no no). 8 - Smile and flirt with your eyes subtly. AVOID HAVING THAT HUNGRY look, that scares men. 9 - DO NOT take your posse. NO need giving a man too many choices. You want to be the belle of the ball.

"You did too much E, you met somebody and spent the night getting caned.." 10 - Ladies leave the drugs alone and DO NOT drink too much. The only thing that can come of this is you sitting on his D#*k in your car in the parking lot. If that happens you've set a bad precedent and you will be "Dusting off your F me pumps" and getting busy in your car in a parking lot the entire relationship.  11 - When wearing a dress, legs MUST be shaved to a smooth finish and topped off with something that will make them shiny (Vaseline works).  12- Men are really turned on by "F me pumps," so wear them. 

Lastly, ladies, ALWAYS act like a lady, keep it slightly sexy and have your own money.

"You don't like players, that's what you said, but you really wouldn't mind a millionaire, you don't like ballers, they don't do nothing for you, but you'd like a rich man 6 foot 2 or taller..."

Enjoy, your "F me pumps" responsibly