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Tuesday, July 10, 2012

LUTHER

She missed his deep set eyes, his piercing stare, his taste, his masculine voice that originated in his belly, his heavy breathing while passionately tongue kissing her and pulling her short permed to an inch of its life red hair, his business advice, their rendezvous, his skin the color of midnight, his breath that smelled of cigars and Glenlivet 18, his laughter, his walk, his calling instead of texting... She missssed him, her secret, his secret...

"Anyone who had a heart would take me in his arms and love me too..." That song she could not get out of her head, as hard as she had tried. 

She didn't miss his secretiveness, his woman(s), his mystique, his unwillingness to commit to only her (well, that was impossible, because of his other situation/s), his paranoia of who may know about them, the them he once said, "Doesn't exist," his being cold and hot, how he toyed with her emotions, saying, "I'm figuring things out" then days later, "I'd like to touch you." 

"Don't you remember you told me you loved me baby, you said you'd be coming back this way again baby..." She quietly sang before screaming out, "I'm tired!" over and over again.

She knew what she had to do, run for refuge to the place that held all her secrets, brought her great peace and provided her answers. There she would cast her unrequited love for him in the ocean to be swept away for ever. 

It was 1145 Pm, 15 minutes before a new day, when she got out of her car and began walking bare foot in the sand, under the moon light listening to the roar of the ocean and watching the waves as they washed ashore. She hoped somehow her deep feelings for him would recede like a tsunami, but never return.  

As if being gently guided, She stopped and walked to the mouth of the ocean.  Her cleansing ritual began, as it always did, with her facing south. She closed her eyes and allowed the cool water to caress her feet.  With her arms stretched out and her palms facing the heavens, She exhaled deeply and prayed that god would separate their intertwined spirits so she could move on.  As tears flowed uncontrollably and with out inhibition, she felt a gradual release and for the first time in months she felt free. As she slowly opened her eyes, she saw what looked like a black ball  being taken under the waves and far out to sea, she smiled, dried her eyes and walked back to her car with a new sense of self and inner peace.

Seated in her car, she noticed it was 12:06 AM, the day after.  She looked at herself in the rear view mirror, said I love you into her eyes,  put on some lip gloss and started her engine. She began laughing out loud when, "Roll back the rug everybody, move all the tables and chairs, we're gonna have us a good time tonight..." Roared from her speakers. 

She was glad Luther had been with her through this journey. She sang along and drove off knowing that a new day had finally arrived.

**Readers, this is a tale of healing from a LoveHanger or HeartAche.  If you have no beach in your town, find a peaceful place where you can go to cast all your problems and fears**  Trust me, it works.     

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